How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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