I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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