i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
