hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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