Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
