I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
