Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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