Sorry, I don't speak sober.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
