I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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