her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
