think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
