Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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