thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
