A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
