I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
