You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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