can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
