Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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