It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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