I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm always down for nudity.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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