Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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