he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
