Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize