Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she smelled like a LAN party
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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