At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I need to stop coming to work sober
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize