drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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