her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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