Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
