By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
