just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
