between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
