Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times