Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???