He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize