no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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