remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
