Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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