ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
