I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
