They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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