All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
