haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
