I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
