If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
