i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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