I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We need a shit load of segways right now
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
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