The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
