New invention idea: vibrating tampons
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
