oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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