You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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