hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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