can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
