Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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