3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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