How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
