she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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