When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
