How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
