The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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