There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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