Where did you get a picture of my penis
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
