Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
