what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
