That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize