he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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