Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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